I think Iwas noticed. Who knows, who cares. I just spent the past three days andnights with five different guys, not including Todd. I can't help butfeel empty. Nobody left me wanting more. I kind of feel a little cheapabout it. I guess it was pretty cheap. I'm kind of obsessive compulsiveabout things like email and my cellphone. I started clearing things outof my phone when I came across a late night call to Daniel's number. Iguess I did a little drunk dialing. Not too good. I need something morethan anonymous club sex.I didn't tell Todd, but I went to a leather bar the following Thursday.I didn't really like it. I thought maybe if I found a stronger type.Sorry but no, the scene is just not me. Moustaches and leather justdon't do it for me, too macho. The whole scene struck too much like a'Tom of Finland' animation. I'm definitely not ready for that.Friday night we took the train down to New York.. I was having a goodtime but was starting to get some creeping doubts in the back of. " I know, Dad, I know. And I promise, but it still hurts to hear her trashing you, especially when I know that it's not true."By the end of the call she had made me promise to her that I would start going out myself. After her call I had to admit to myself that my marriage was really over. Even if I had been the one who had made the decision, somewhere deep inside me I had hoped that Helen would apologize to me, but now I supposed that it would never happen.My condo, four rooms and a kitchen, filled the whole fourth floor of the house, and I decided to start socializing by being nice to the other occupants of the house.On the third floor, there were two smaller apartments. Both were occupied by some elderly, most likely retired couples. On the second floor there was one very small apartment whose occupant was a guy I thought was an artist, and almost a prototype of a gay man. He was a nice enough guy, who didn't cause any problems for anyone – if you didn't count his clothing. The.
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